Little Chill Pit stop with Blu'

Hello to any sweet peas who come wandering to this odd little infinity corner of the internet.(because truly anyone willing to read about me is forever the sweetest people I know.)

I would love to update consistently with the introductions...

But I can't. This is still a mental disorder that takes the life of game from easy to nightmare. To be real, 9 times out of 10, it isn't sunshine and rainbows in my head or my living word.

what can I say? PTSD comes from trauma. There's nothing sweet about that.

So... I guess while everything is burning around me, I might as well gush over some little things I love to get heavy into and will go more in-depth at a later date. Recent events have made it hard to get things done, after all, I made this blog to help others, whether its to educate or come to an understanding. I DAMN SURE don't always wanna be talking about myself

Cause ya know.. I struggle to actually keep any type of identity in the first place.

But still. I wanna do something.

Now with that out the way. Lets have a laid back sesh about hobbies.

I know you'd be lying if you told me you didn't have a hobby. It's literally everyone's pass time when all things in life had been done and dealt with. You gotta have something because I can't imagine anyone sitting for 2 or more hours doing nothing(besides like... meditation.. which is a hobby). But to whoever is at that point in life :ccc

Come here friend. Let me start you off on a hugging hobby and then I'll show you some fun.

woah woah woah... I sense ya'll weirdos thinking by the church of Rule 34.. Stap fool.

I'm talking about things like music, writing wild fiction, exploring far from home and so much more.

I essentially have agoraphobia so like... Trust me when I say I know what its like to actually sit for hours doing nothing. So naturally like any young child, I found fun in many many things so that I could not be bored. Now they're things I look upon and start to realize that what I've done in my free time is extraordinary. But for so long I thought it was nothing special.

Let me give some context. I love a challenge. Any and all. Obviously not shitty ones though. More like playing a game blind on the hardest difficulty and completing the game no matter what. That's a small example though because this personality trait of mine is the main reason I want to be a NASA scientist. Think about it; isn't trying to challenge theories and radical ideas, mysteries and unknown discoveries, one of the most challenging things a person can do? Being a scientist and engineer is just the kind of rush I want. And if I may be frank, this blog is a whole scientific study for me and anyone who wants to pry my brain. I'm all for the science behind myself and other likes me. I want to question things like just how powerful the brain actually is, and how could we have better control over its abilities(because man.. I don't think I'd wish a disorder like this on ANYONE). 

So I took up a hobby for just studying like a madman. First it started with a dictionary. Once my teacher taught us the alphabet, I instantly grabbed my dinky little dictionary

This thing here.. ugh

 and read it 'til I fell asleep on its pages. I wanted to impress my teacher so I learned the longest word(which I had to make the difficult decision between kitchen and chocolate) and during show and tell... I presented my class with a huge smile and

"c-h-o-c- uhh... o- late.. uh. l-a-t-e"

God, was I embarrassing. But I honestly commend my younger self for being so dedicated to just know more. I was that child that for a few years I started every convo with "How come...?" and in response to everything you say, "why?". Even I annoyed myself. But I couldn't stop. After getting good at reading and my blues clues and Dora V-tech games, I gained a few more chromosomes.. oh shit I mean brain cells and idk.. neurons, and I discovered the internet. I was about 7. At first I started just obsessively listening and learning my favorite songs( Bart baker parody's and for some reason eye of the tiger). 

Then all hell broke loose when discovery channel had free access to their old af documentaries on animals and evolution. And the Dinos c':. From about second grade to 5th, most of my time was occupied by stuff like this, or lets plays, when that all started on YouTube(first one I came across was a random crash bandicoot vid. I can't find it anymore) 

:(

Then came the rise of the my wanderlust for the world outside of our own. Endless, Mysterious, and so very untouchable. Outer space captivated me and from then on I never stopped trying to reach the stars. I've grown up in a city so if you can imagine, I actually never TRULY have seen the stars. I'm 19 now though and I am still relentless chasing whatever unimaginable things are beyond the Local Group. But at the age I was at, I was hitting brick walls. I felt like I was missing some pretext and after some time I couldn't understand what I was looking at. Now the math and symbols spark remembrance of course, but back then.. I got bored again.

This is then where I said

"fuck it. Give me everything to occupy with until I get smart enough to touch the stars"

and I did just that. I picked up countless instruments to learn 2 or more songs on each and gain those calluses, but I lacked a lot of self discipline, so I then started studying as many animal species in my head as possible from A-Z. Then I went back to music but this time things like EDM and experimental. Trying my hand at making some "sick" 808s and melodies. I still plan to pursue making music, cause music is my everything. But then puberty hit and I thought.

"OKAY ITS TIME TO BULK UUP" 

so I spent like a week trying to gain muscle mass and just gave up and decided the only sport I'd rather dabble in be E-sports. My favorite games to play are first or third person shooters/ fighters and chill little adventurous indie games. After playing games like, Halo, the dead space trilogy(plz can we get a pt.4, I've played all 3 games damn near 10 times over. pwetty plz?) I slightly delve back into strength building, but in terms of being able to survive many situations. You must remember, I wanna spend all my time in space, off this planet, and if I can get there sooner than Armstrong... Well, I was gonna take that challenge whether possible or not. I still just so badly want to just know the unknown. Even if it kills me, cause growing up undiagnosed autisms, I took curiosity killed the cat literally. But I said to myself.

That makes no sense... if cats have nine lives, why would they waste it on climbing trees and smacking bears.. they lose a life and then know better.

So with all I've gather through a life time of just learning as much as possible, I set out on the journey to far away lands.

But I still had agoraphobia and wasn't exactly being funded in anyway. That didn't stop me though. I still found a way. My time from 8th grade and onward was now occupied taking every hobby I've gained 

and use it to be self sufficient. 

I taught myself special motor skills, instruments, advanced scientific fields such as genetic engineering, aerospace, and biochemistry(I was indeed in biochem throughout 8th grade.. honors classes man). I gathered a list of languages I wanted to learn and so far have fully self taught myself Korean and Japanese. I want a career in wild life rehabilitation and other things to learn more in-depth ethology.

And yet again. I'm doing all this in my free time to prepare myself as the best human candidate to explore and survive outer worlds and encounters with extraterrestrial life.

I want to possibly genetically modify myself with all I know and have learned from the thousands of living things that roam this planet. Be able to withstand extreme conditions both mentally and physically from just pure control over my body. I want to be able to communicate to all, whether its speaking finnish, or slowly blinking at my cat to tell him I think I love you or literally

"Please head butt me in the nose no matter where I am, appropriate or not"

I've taken everything, put it together, and continuously theorized all possibilities on space travel and discovery. I took up creative writing to keep myself sharp in thinking outside the box so that I can feasibly build something amazing. The machine that could make dark matter visible, or a rocket like non other. I just want to explore space. And when I die I hope I was able to contribute to this worlds future and I want my ashes to be tossed into space to a specific place possibly with, I hope, a camera that can record all the things my urn might come across or land on. And man... can you imagine what it would be like in 10,000 years where the camera is now used to communicate to other reality earth, or a random creature picks it up and we can explore unknown worlds, or we end up discovering a secret society of aliens who are out to get us but they are moving super slowly, but we still are unable to do anything but panic here on earth. 

All of theses can't be disproven and that's enough of a possibility for me. 

So that's about it for this little laid back story time on my various hobbies. For now I can only link to my Wattpad, which I am ass at updating. My other freetime activities are mostly written so its gonna take some time to type out my studies and such, But I am most excited to share what I've done and learned all my life.

and Why I may one day be known as 

Juke Blu' Sare, The Extraordinaire

To close this post, if you wanna, share your hobbies in the comments. or if anyone wants to pry my mind for more in-depth info on the things I've spent my life studying, I'd be glad to convey as much as I know. But please always be aware of the fact that I am fully self taught besides what the american educational curriculum teaches.

    Welp... bye bye for now <3

Thank You for reading. Til we meet again

Juke Blu' Sare